How To Effectively Destroy Your Business In 3 Simple Steps

How To Effectively Destroy Your Business In 3 Simple Steps

So, you'd like to destroy your blog or business?

You came to the right place!

Today I have for you a simple 3 step plan that you can implement in order to do just that!

Not only is it easy to do, but these actions are so damn effective, you'll only have to do them once!

When you're destroying an online business, there are a few factors to take into consideration if you really want to nail it on the first try...

  1. Content

  2. Trust

  3. Credibility

While a clever blogger or biz owner can tie this trio into a beautiful destructive work of art, it's much easier for those that are new to the game to tackle each step one at a time.

Step 1: Produce Unoriginal/Copied Content

This is a great way to show people that you don't have an original bone in your body, and probably have no idea what you're talking about!

The trick here is to take entire posts from well known bloggers and biz owners, and change a minimal number of words so it's clear that you stole it (list posts are the best for this since it's really easy to see that the points match up).

Be sure to use the exact same title in case people miss the similarities when they are scrolling through on social media!

How To Destroy Your Business In 3 Simple Steps

Step 2: Always Lure Your Audience With Misleading Headlines

Nothing will piss people off more than thinking they're getting dirt on a famous celebrity, when really you're just going to show them several blurry pictures, spread across 19 pages filled with ads, that bring them to a grand total of nowhere.

Always keep them wanting more by never giving them what you promised you would!

Try writing a post about how to repin something on Pinterest, and calling it "The Mind-blowing Ways To Use Pinterest You've Never Heard Of!". This is an easy way to get your peers hating on you too!

Step 3: Always Lie About How Much You Know

Here's a cut and dry calculation to simplify this for you (stay with me know, 'cause this can get a little complicated):

Take your ACTUAL years of experience, then add 2 (if you're a real go-getter, multiply that by 2 as well!).

Then take your ACTUAL yearly income, divide it by 2, then add an extra "0" to the end, and claim that as your monthly income.

Lastly, take the length of time it took you to earn the ACTUAL number in the income equation, and divide that by 7 when asked how long it took you to get there.

Let's look at an example:

You've got exactly zero experience (but are a real go-getter!), so that= 4 years experience!

You make $10,000/year, so after the math =$50,000/month income!

It took you 7 years to make that $10,000/year income, so let's do some math =1 year to conquer all!

Now zero experience + 7 years of failing = $10000/year
turns into an unbelieveable...
4 years of experience that lead you to earning $50,000/month in 1 easy breezy year

...Perfect!

I know this can seem a bit overwhelming, and really takes some commitment to get these strategies just right, but I absolutely guarantee that if you follow my instructions exactly, you'll have completely obliterated any chance of your business surviving in no time!

Image Source: BritishBornTees.com

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4 thoughts on “How To Effectively Destroy Your Business In 3 Simple Steps

  1. Haha this is funny… love it. Some really good points here… anytime I see any posts with these characteristics I’m like “SEE YA!” Especially the headline one. 😐

    1. O…M…G…Yesssss! LOL, liar headlines make me yell at my laptop, and my laptop just doesn’t deserve to be treated that way! LOL 😛
      Thanks for popping by, Lily!

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